Shiraz Ahmed

Save your Souls
Save your Siblings

Another Take
Singh is Bling:Sling the Writing.

Singh is Bling no
Sling the Writing!!  crying

Bakri Eid came and went. But Goats continue Grazing on your brains, hearts, souls and other organs. The Screenplay of this film, credited to Grazing Goats (On the Screen), is beyond AIB’s Bak#$%*. It’s an absolute Bakar#$%*, if I were to coin a word because only an imaginary word could describe this stupid disaster. angry
Having a job on hand of watching worst, amateur or epic failure films; I haven’t watched anything worse than Singh is Bling. Save you Souls and Siblings from SinghBling.  surprise

FACT – Sunday, today I am making mutton.    cheeky     
fact – You mean lamb? Good. I wish we pakao all those Grazing Goats who pakoed us for 3 hours. But be careful and if possible let’s obtain an NOC else both of us may get lynched. surprise

FACT – Don’t worry I’ve beefed up the security.        
fact – I don’t trust them. But anyway one can’t help.  sad 

FACT – So let’s discuss Singh is Bling from Writer’s PoV?    
fact – Frankly this is the last film to be discussed for its writing. frown 

FACT – But that’s our assignment.    
fact – Well, let’s discuss it as a film to the extreme of Non-Writing. This Film keeps mentioning kick-ass and does a lot of it as action. So we take a few components of Writing and analyse how the Writing probably intended to be Kick-Ass on the laptop get kicked around in Ass all through the film. crying

Character – Raftar is a rustic idiot. Doesn’t work, doesn’t do nothing, leaves everything half-way. A clichéd character that just interests you because Akshay with all his prowess at comic timing makes it work. angel

Amy Jackson’s Sara(h) is a Supergirl, who can kick asses without getting a curl on her hair. Although clichéd Hollywood character, to some extent it’s fine with Bollywood. The Maxim Frontpage topless Amy looks good, but one can’t say a damn about her acting because the character is always straight faced and she barely speaks in the film. Now coming to this character’s want and motivation, the film makes it contradictory. She is a superwoman yet she is running away from one place to another and then for no reason comes back to her base, though the very reason for her running away is still there.

Plot / Story – Sarah is running away from Mark, whom she has already knocked down. She then comes in search of her mom to Goa where Singh lands separately to join a job of a hitman. He mostly gets hit. As expected he is assigned the job to escort Sarah. While he’s supposed to be her bodyguard it happens the other way round. That’s more for comedy than any social cause btw. Women hitting men is more to cater to men's dominatrix fantasies than feminism actually. Ok now love kindles as expected but mostly remains one-sided from Singh’s side. 
Then at times when you feel the plot is about Sarah’s search for her mother, the screenplay doesn’t spare more than 15 sec to this search and as expected a slightest of thought in it’s development. Mom dear is found but like magic. Singh presents her to Sarah like Abracadabra. And don’t ask why Mom dear left her or didn’t carry her along or what is the 3rd Dimension of their personalities. That’s none of this film’s business.sad

Structure – Banks on convenience. Don’t expect any standard or proper structure. Anything happens anytime, any which ways as per the discretion of the director/writer. No questions are entertained in this regard. angry

For writers, this film is devoid of any logic, structure, plot, character, story or screenplay. Like everything else, the film kicks the ass of all Writing Fundas and even if you use an iota of thinking you will make a fool of yourself. The logics are massacred left, right & centre. They run because goons are chasing them and when their car topples, they get out and hit their chasers. So why did they run in first place if they were capable of defeating their enemies? Similarly, if Sara can fell deadly goons in a jiffy and had even done same to Mark then why was she running away from Mark? Then even with characters's graph the same thing applies. Raftar who has always been a fuddu, all of sudden becomes Superman in the end. While Sara who has always been a Supergirl becomes a docile bride – Guess why? Because Mark will kill her parents. Such stupid and age old clichéd reasoning. frown 
So what Character Graph? Why and how don’t ask? Writing is none of this film’s business. I have been telling. crying  

FACT – Stop it. You will write a treatise on that, how about comedy?  
fact – Comedy is based on tried and tested situations.  One thing that might entertain for a while is Lara Dutta’s Emily as a translator who deliberately errs on her job so as to keep both of them happy. That’s little bit of laughter. Besides that, it’s the usual marriage with moti girl insensitive comedy, or some late night boy’s hostel jokes, or cliched WhatsApp jokes of putting a wig on the dog to make it Lion, or hitting on men's private parts, etc. no

Romance also is mostly imaginary because the girl is just tuned up to kick-ass and keeps contemplating how she would do that while the village idiot is blushing dreaming of her. So as an audience you don’t see any real chemistry between them, so romance also doesn’t connect. broken heart

Also don't understand why it is necessary to characterize men as dumb to show women smart. That's sad part of easy writings of our popular films. Even to show man's wit we still bank on showing the ladies opp to him as dumb. Though nowadays writings have grown up to have proper rounded 3D characters, we still have films like SinghBling.

FACT – So the final call?  

fact - Please excuse me, I had a severe headache watching this film and revisiting it is triggering it back. I want to flush out every minor memory of Singh is Bling, right here, right now. Bye, please spare me. If you want you go and watch but for God’s sake, leave me. indecisionfrownsadsurprisecryingangryno




   Sanjay Sharma

Critic who loves to appreciate.

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